October is my favorite time of year. One of my favorite things about living in Ga was how by now, it was usually cooling off. The mornings aren't as humid and there is just a feeling in the air. Of all the seasonal holidays, Halloween was always my favorite growing up as a child. I was honestly more excited about going trick or treating and picking a halloween costume than I was about Christmas (yes, I have always been a little morbid). So I am kind of sad that my favorite month must be overshadowed with my husband's deployment. I don't know if its the fact that I am in California, or that this deployment is creeping ever closer, but that feeling in the air is just not present. However, I'm going to do the best I can to be in the spirit. With the help of my very caring cousin Kristina, I am planning a trip to LA with a friend or two to dress up and hit disney land. I truly can't wait!
I am at a point now where I just want to hurry up and get this deployment over with. I've been trying to think of it in a positive light (i know that sounds strange). But seriously, I think this might be a new and interesting chapter in mine and my husband's marriage. I look forward to writing him letters and taking the time to put together packages for him. I think it will bring us closer in a different way. A way that only a separation due to deployment can. We still do not know yet if our efforts have resulted in a pregnancy, but husband seems very confident that it has. I am not so sure. Not because I know something he doesn't, I just don't want to get my hopes up and be disappointed. So my anxiety and psychosis might be clouding my intuition with my own body. Truthfully I have been feeling awfully clumsy and out of it mentally (forgetting things, spilling and dropping everything, hurting myself on accident...) and this was one of the first things that tipped me off to my first pregnancy. Also its possible I've been more fatigued than usual. But I don't want to read too much into it, it could just be left over from my first pregnancy. Or it could all be in my head! I have had two family members dream that I was pregnant this week too. As I have mentioned before that is apparently as certain as a pregnancy test on my mom's side of the family. Its too early to take a upt, so I will wait a few more days or a week until I check. But I will def let you guys know whats up as soon as I find out something. Please pray for us, guys. We know that God has a plan and we are completely surrendered to it. I just hope He knows that we are ready for whatever He blesses us with.
I am still working on my goals. I'm kinda close to finishing them. Its really difficult to come up with this stuff. I want to pick goals that will change my life in a positive way. But I promise I have not forgotten about them.